We have a ghost in our house. Just hear me out. Or don’t. I’m convinced of it. My husband is not. He thinks I just blame the ghost when things disappear.  Our scape ghost. It tends to steal or hide things at the most inopportune time. I will swear up and down that I placed something right on my nightstand, or chest of drawers or on the kitchen counter. But the stuff moves. Vanishes. It sounds absurd, I understand. I believe that we most likely have a toddler scapeghost.

If you’re curious. I think it followed us from our last house too.

In our last house, it did some crazy things. It would leave showers running for so long that there would be no hot water left. This one time, the keys to my van went missing for months. The good set too, you know the one with the key fob on it? That one. Do you know that it costs hundreds of dollars to replace that? Nice one, Toyota. If you’re getting a mini van, shouldn’t you get a few sets of those? Yes. So, every time it would be raining or snowing or I wouldn’t have an extra hand to manually unlock the door, I cursed the scape ghost. And sometimes myself. And of course, my husband too. It’s sad stuff. First world kind of problems.

Then, one day, my husband was cleaning out the deep freezer. It was one of the last things to finish before moving out of our first house. He reached into the deep freezer and grabbed a box of popsicles and heard a little rattling sound. You’ll never believe what he found in the bottom of the popsicle box. You got it. My car keys.

If you know me, you know it is highly unlikely that I would lose my keys in a popsicle box in the bottom of the deep freezer. It had to be our scape ghost, getting a Popsicle while playing hide and seek with the car keys. It purposely messes with me the most. And makes me feel like I’m a little crazy. But now, when “I” lose something, I do tend to check the deep freezer because “Fool me once, shame on you, scapeghost. Fool me twice, shame on me.”

One of the reasons I strongly believe in our toddler scapeghost is because one night, my husband and I were watching t.v. downstairs and we heard the sound of footsteps upstairs. And, the guinea pigs sounded their motion detecting alarms, “EEP. EEP. EEP.” We went up to investigate and all of our kids were asleep in their beds. Cue the eerie ghost music or maybe the X-files theme song.

If you’re curious as to whether I’ve lost my mind or not, you should know that this is both a fiction and non-fiction blog post. You get to pick and choose which parts you believe to be real and which are not. My husband interupted my writing and told me that I can’t just start blaming stuff on the scapeghost or our kids will do the same. Oh, my homework disappeared. All the lost shoes. The last chocolate chip cookie. You get the gist. But the great thing about my mind is that inside of here, I can blame whoever or whatever I want. Anyways, as soon as I figure out what our scapeghost wants, I’m sure he or she will just leave me alone. That’s what I hear about ghosts anyways.

*since writing this, my key fob disappeared again….and reappeared. However, a brand new pair of my four year olds shoes went missing…..driving me crazy. They’re still missing. And yes, I credit the Scapeghost for their disappearance.