Agree to disagree, sort of


It’s so much easier to have a conversation with someone who nods and agrees with you. Blood pressure stays low. Voices remain at a pleasing tone and decibel. Hearts don’t have to pound so rapidly. Emotions generally don’t get hyped up. Panties don’t get all in a wad. Not a lot changes at the end of the pleasant and agreeable conversation. I am proud and I am right, and so are you. High five.

Occasionally, I have a conversation with someone that resembles two stubborn bulls ramming horns, repeatedly. It’s hard to move past the encounter. Without feeling a little sore. During the conversation, I start out calm, maybe sitting. Then, I can feel my heart racing, my voice rising and shaking, my brain firing, but usually missing it’s target. I can get all kinds of emotional. Standing up now. Level headed? Not so much. I would have been cut from the debate team, if I tried out. I get over-heated. My ego picks up a sword and just starts swinging away. Wrecklessly. Maybe it would help if I grabbed a shield. Why are you having such a strong and oppositional opinion? Can’t you just see things the way that I do? Ahhhh! You are so frustrating. I’m trying to say what I’m trying to say, but it’s not working on you. Stop interrupting. Answer the question. Are you even hearing the words that are coming out of my mouth?

Fight or flight time. And I’m sticking around. I think that I’m tugging at your heart strings, but you’re stuck. Not budging. That’s it. You must not have a heart. Or maybe you don’t have enough experiences or know enough people to disprove your theory or beliefs. Well, I do. Because I am so proud. And I am so right. The air is so refreshing up here. On my high horse. Do you want a ride? I can’t even listen to you, much less hear what you’re saying. I’m trying to think about the next thing I will say. This conversation appears to be going nowhere at a pretty rapid rate. Giddy up! Or that could just be my blood pressure. And the poor bystanders. They’re affected, intervening, refereeing, even pseudo-threatening for us to stop. Maybe those were real threats. We have been given a three minute warning to cease the conversation, errr, debate. That’s not nearly enough. This is deep stuff. We’ve barely scratched the surface.

Time’s up. I love you, my not-so-little, strong-willed brother. We look a lot like each other, we even act a lot like each other, but still, we are very different. I couldn’t talk with many others the way that I can talk with you. You fire me up and you motivate me. I appreciate you. Silence is not always golden. Difficult conversations can be really good for the soul, if you are willing to have them. The thing is, you’re safe. I know you love me. And respect me. And I feel the same for you. Even if we disagree. But, you do know that you are wrong. There. I got the last words in. Hug it out.

You have flipped a switch. Maybe more than one. I am revved up and ready to learn more, read more. Understand more. Feel more. You’ve opened up my eyes, my heart and mind to your thoughts and your beliefs. That’s huge. So thanks. I still think you are awesome, even if we bang heads occasionally. I agree to disagree. Until next time.

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